1. Wrigglesworth Tordoff. Your Master of ceremonies - the one who does all the hard work.
2. Timothy Charles. Trusted 2IC and Cock of The Month record holder. As of the 11th November 2007, only to be known as "Il Cocko Grande". He will not answer to anything else....
3. Sean / Shaun. Can't spell his name and can never remember where he comes from!
4. Bradford Bob. Looks like Al Murray's pub landlord.
5. Mandy. Never drinks alcohol; just spends lots of time in bars.
6. Mike B. Only ever had one entry from Mike B. He's a bit posh from Worcestershire.
7. Nicki. The Swindon co-pilot.
8. Katie. Famous for her cock pasta; likes the Winky song.
9. Graeme. Still claims to not own a poodle.
10. Caroline. Her blurred photographs are world famous.
11. Some bloke from Cockermouth - it's a bit of a mystery really.
12. Ian B. He blurts them out all at once.
13. Dave W. Our blackmail victim. He still hasn't responded.
14. Globetrotting Professor Nev. He really is a Professor you know.
15. Matthew. Designs T-shirts.
16. Tim's Dad. He knows loads about Cocker Spaniels.
17. Sara from Cockermouth. Something like that anyway. Shaun / Sean's mate.
18. The man with a picture of Cock Lane on his wall.
19. The person who submitted the Foyle's Philavery entry.
20. The man who submitted Nicholas Kok.
21. Dr J-R C. Great tits, fat balls.
22. Andy W. Moved house especially so he could join the fun.
23. Durham Tony. Likes his cock flavoured seasoning.
24. Malc from Skipton. Will go to any lengths to give himself food poisoning.
25. The Mad Weasel. He lives in Portsmouth and he plays with fireworks the naughty boy.
26. Colin The Dorking Cock. Stainless steel domestic fowl a particular speciality.
27. Rick on a world tour of gaylord hotspots. Malc's mate and another of our roving reporters.
28. Il Cocko Titchy. Our youngest colleague who folds his own cocks.
29. Mrs Il Cocko Grande. She didn't like it at first, but she grew to love it.
30. Jungle Jinge. She's actually called Michele and she saw all sorts of things on her holidays.
31. Stueeeee and Richie Babes. Bonking in the box hedge.
32. The Wise Northern Cock. Knows how it is. Goes to Yorkshire for his holidays.
33. Saucy Viky. The cheeky wench.
34. JueJue McGrew. High Wycombe's finest and foremost cock-snapper.
35. Monica Rae of Sunshine. Gallons of jocko cocko.
36. Martin Peacock. No, really!
37. Scott of t'Antarctic. Brrrrrrrr.......
38. Over-cautious Emma. It really isn't anything to be ashamed of.
39. Cock Soup Rosie. She likes a spicy caribeann one.
40. Spiky Harrold. He's got a long pointy one.
41. Emenemenemenem. There's two of them working as a tag team in Norway. Synchronised Scandinavian chilly cockers.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
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